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Why “Good” and “Bad” Foods Are Ruining Our Kids’ Relationship With Food

When we label foods as “good” and “bad,” we create a dichotomy that can lead to feelings of guilt and shame around certain foods. This can pressure kids to make choices based on what they think is “good” or “bad,” rather than what they actually want to eat. If we want our kids to develop a healthy relationship with food, it’s important that we model mindful eating ourselves.

Why “Good” and “Bad” Foods Are Ruining Our Kids’ Relationship With Food

One of the best things parents can do for their children is to teach them how to eat mindfully. Mindful eating is all about being present and aware of what you’re eating, without judgment. It’s about enjoying the experience of eating, without labeling foods as “good” or “bad.” When we label foods in this way, we create a dichotomy that can lead to feelings of guilt and shame around certain foods. This can pressure kids to make choices based on what they think is “good” or “bad,” rather than what they actually want to eat. If we want our kids to develop a healthy relationship with food, it’s important that we model mindful eating ourselves. Here are some tips for how to do this:

1. Make mealtimes calm and enjoyable. Sit down together as a family, and take the time to savor your food. Avoid distractions like screens, and focus on the experience of eating and connecting together. Try to focus on talking through your days instead of focusing directly on the food.

2. Instead of talking about how good the food is or how healthy it is or how it will help our bodies grow, try to focus on the different flavors and textures that they are experiencing. What this does is it takes the pressure away from eating and helps our kids to think of foods not as good versus bad but based on the sensory experience they are experiencing. You can also compliment them on the way they are holding their spoon, or how they are chewing their food. 

3. Offer a variety of foods, and let your kids choose what they want to eat. Avoid pressuring them to try new things or finish everything on their plate. By taking a more laid-back approach, you take the pressure off of mealtime. And who knows, with some consistency of this they may even surprise you by trying a new food that they previously thought was “yucky.”

4. Trust your kids’ hunger cues. If they’re not hungry, don’t force them to eat. And if they’re still hungry after a meal, let them have seconds without judgment!

5. Be mindful of your own eating habits. Avoid using food as a reward or punishment, and don’t make comments about your own body around your kids. Remember that they are watching you, and you are setting the tone for their own relationship with food.